How do you say SWOLE in Norwegian?

I joined a gym called Mudo. I think Tae Kwan Doe classes are their bread and butter, but they have plenty of cardio equipment and a stocked weight room. The classes are an extra $30 a month, but I’m not sure if the add-on is worth it. I’m mostly interested in the yoga class, but it’s “yoga and stretching” and it’s only 30 mins. I can do yoga at home, so the classes might not be worth it. Either way, I’ve got the swole part of this trip ON LOCK.

I lifted today for the first time since the last week of school (roughly a month ago..ouch) and my body was like THE FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THIS. Seriously, my quads are throwing an unholy fit. I will pay for this tomorrow. I predict that sitting on toilets will be the hardest part of my Thursday.

Plenty of meatheads at the gym, but I miss my regular crowd of gym rats. Where will I find gym joy without eavesdropping on Protein Pancakes talking about his macros? And how will I feel powerful and confident without student gym rats calling me ma’am and giving me wide-breadth on the bench press? At Mudo, I’m just another person picking up heavy things and putting them back down again. The saddest part is not having my Swole Sister with me. Dani–I miss you!

My greatest challenge at the gym is math. Like, I’m at 85, and the bar is 45 so I need to put on…two…10 pound weights? On each side? I’M NOT A NUMBERS PERSON. Anyway, now I have to do all that AND I have to do the conversion from kilograms to pounds. UGH. There are 2.2 pounds in a kilogram so I’m “roughly” doubling everything. That should work, right? I did notice that their dumbbells go up by 2 kilograms, which is like 4 pounds. Norwegian weight lifters moving up like, don’t be a wimp #GAINS. I’m more of a, I did my sets #SNACK kind of person, but I’ll make do.

I think Norwegians are night owls. All of the classes at Mudo start at 4:30 pm or later. One kickboxing class goes from 9-10 pm. I teach the earliest classes at ACN (starting at 9:00 am, so that bolsters my night owl theory), and 10 pm is dangerously close to bedtime. Plus it’s a 15 minute walk back to my place. Then snack time. I wouldn’t be in bed till midnight. All signs point to skip the classes, but maybe I’ll try one just for the awkward anecdotes.


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