Norwegian Commercials

There are plenty of American shows on TV, but all the commercials are full-blood Norwegian. I have no idea what anybody’s saying, and sometimes I’m not even sure what’s being advertised, but I will say this: Norwegians have advertising on LOCK.

I dedicate this post to my favorite commercials, two of which make me well up a ‘lil. I can’t find any of them on youtube, and I’m not going to do them any kind of justice here, but by all means, read on.

Rema 1000 

Rema 1000 is a grocery store, and there’s a series of commercials featuring a mom-like woman who’s very excited about her groceries. Only, I’m pretty sure the woman is actually a man. Like 90% sure. I’ve only seen this commercial at the gym, so I have no voice to help me here. Either way, I think it’s progressive and awesome. In the commercial I saw today, she turned old meat containers into a neck pillow using a hot glue gun. You can’t make this shit up.

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This is a fancy Rema. The one I shop at looks like a parking garage. 

Fruit and Vegetable…store? 

I have no idea what brand this commercial is selling, but it’s the most cinematically artful commercial I’ve ever seen. Open scene: a sleeping household. The Proclaimer’s I’m gonna be (500 miles) starts to play. Mom wakes up, playfully tosses a pillow at dad. Cut to a sleeping child rolling over in bed, a beam of morning sunlight across his angelic face. The family dog runs down the stairs, her long hair bouncing in slow motion. Lunches are being packed–but like lovely nutritious Norwegian lunches that would cost an American fifteen bucks at a fancy cafe. The family is smiling and having a wonderful morning in the kitchen together. It’s gong to be a great day. FRUIT AND VEGETABLE BRAND. No idea, but I love it.

Freia Chocolate Bar

It’s a typical family rushing out the door (and for some reason leaving the youngest daughter behind?). The door slams and the family photo falls to the floor and breaks. Daughter realizes that the family needs to reconnect. She collects some crafts, a fan, the dog, and a giant Freia chocolate bar from the fridge. In the time that she’s home alone (again–why?) she makes an elaborate winter wonderland photo booth for the family. They come home and find her surprise. Everybody is happy–but nobody is eating chocolate! They’re just holding it for the picture? Somehow this sells chocolate.

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These are foot-long chocolate bars. They sell themselves, really.

Grandiosa Pizza

I’m fairly certain that Grandiosa frozen pizza is Norway’s Kraft Mac n Cheese. It’s the junky nostalgic food that tastes like crap but everybody loves it. And the commercials are great. I was describing this one to my coworkers today and I almost cried. So you’ve got two sisters–one about high school age and one not quite a tween. Little sister wants to be just like older sister–stealing her leather jacket and sneaking through her things, smelling her perfume. Older sister, of course, is annoyed and scolds her for being invasive. But then, big sister has a change of heart. She comes to little sister with a Grandiosa pizza and a small smile. They curl up on the couch together, eating pizza and watching a movie and I’M TELLING YOU–YOU WOULD BE CRYING TOO IF YOU SAW IT.

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Norway’s favorite pizza! Emily had one–she said it was terrible. The stuff of nightmares. No wonder the commercials are so good. 

Life Preserver

This one is my favorite. Gets me every time. It’s a stormy day at the beach. Old Man Neighborhood Watch is walking his dog and notices that the life preserver is missing from its post. He looks to the water and sees a group of kids gathered around–one of them tosses the life preserver aside. Old Man scowls and heads over to give the kids a what for. As he approaches the group parts and a soaking wet man looks up, fear and relief in his eyes. The kids rub him with a blanket. The old man’s face softens in recognition and humility. LIFE PRESERVER. You guys, I wish I could find this damn commercial so you could watch it and cry your eyes out. My crappy description will have to suffice.

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I can’t find the brand name, so here’s a picture I took. It’s basically this. 

So anyway–good job, Norway. You’re not making me want to buy stuff, but you’re entertaining the hell out of me.

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