New Toothpaste

I’ve been a little glum lately, and mustering the effort to write has been tough. But it’s getting getter. The days are even longer now that we’ve had *our* daylight savings time and we’ve had “need sunglasses” days almost every day this week. AND…today I bought new toothpaste.

As a type-A human with very particular likes and dislikes, I made sure to pack all personal amenities in abundance. Three eye brow pencils, giant bag of tampons, full container of pre-workout for lifting, bags and boxes of snacks that I like, etc. But in all this planning, I only thought to pack one tube of toothpaste and it just…ran…out.

I like Tom’s. I know it’s owned by Colegate or one of those other soul-sucking corporations, but I still like it. It’s my brand. I’m a brand-loyal sucker for Toms of stupid Maine. I haven’t seen Tom’s around here, so when I went to the store today, I decided to go nuts and pick a brand that contained no familiar words or pictures or symbols. I’m not even 100% certain that this is really toothpaste, but it’s minty and I just brushed my teeth with it. So that’s something.

I’m guessing that “Solidox” means something like “solid” and that this toothpaste might be claiming to harden my tooth enamel, though I’m not certain that’s possible. I assumed (correctly) that blue packaging translates to mint flavor. Since actual mint is green, I’m not sure how blue came to represent mint, but vær så god.

The 12 (hour?) timer thing is throwing me for a loop. Does this mean that the tube contains enough toothpaste for 12 hours of brushing? I guess that’s how Norwegians budget their toothpaste. So, if I spend 2 minutes per brush, and I brush twice a day, then that means this tube will last me…90 days? That can’t be right.

But there is definitely fluoride in it. I’m not sure what else fluor would be. But Frisk Pust isn’t giving much away. Sounds like a bad NYPD random search policy. (too soon?) Maybe it means, “will firm up with time” because when I used it, the first bit came out thin like the runny layer on old ketchup. The rest was okay. Smelled a bit like fennel, but tasted solidly like mint. Brushed for two minutes. BAM.

In other news, I BOUGHT BREAD! I SLICED IT! IN THE SCARY SLICER! So, I promise to blog about my sandwich-making adventures soon. I also bought and consued a dragon fruit, for the first time ever. We’ll talk about that too. Non-food related stuff…we’ll see. Sorry for the lull! Sometimes, life gets dumpy and trash panda needs a little extra time in bed.

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